Tradition & Rites | Esan Women Association

ESAN TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE RITES

Esan people value their children, male or female, this is why unlike some cultures; the bride price is very low. The payment of bride price is vital to the conclusion of marriage notable under Esan native law, which like any other customary law marriage in Nigeria; is recognized under the Marriage Act. The impression is that Esan people do not sell their daughters into marriage, the requested amount for bride price is usually determined by the parent of the bride. A huge sum is usually presented these days, from which the prominent members of the bride’s family would remove a small amount and refund the balance to the groom for his wife, their daughter's upkeeping.

We have two major types of marriages in Esan Land:

Monogamy- A marriage between one man to one woman.

Polygamy- A marriage between one man to two or more wives.

Traditional marriage is usually an arrangement between two families as opposed to an arrangement between two individuals. The man usually pays the bride price and is thus considered the head of the family. Adultery is acceptable for men but forbidden for women.

Marriage Ceremonies Vary Among Esan Clans

Sometimes parents actually go looking for a wife or husband for their children. This led to the BETROTHAL SYSTEM where marriage was conducted with or without the consent of the individuals involved. Sometimes such betrothal, took place when a baby girl was born. Suitors would begin to approach the parents by sending a log of wood or bundle of yam to the parents of the child. You are likely to hear statements such as I have dropped a log of firewood. When a boy decides to get married and the parents have accepted the bride as a prospective daughter-in-law, messages go up and down between the two families. This is called IVBUOMO-SEEKING FOR A BRIDE. Series of investigations are conducted by both families about the disease, scandals, and crimes which may affect the families. The terms of the marriage which of course may include the bride price would be settled in some families. Gifts for the mother of the bride and IROGHAE- members of the extended family would be part of the settlement. Then a date would be set for the ceremony which would take place in the home of the woman’s family. The OKA EGBE of the woman’s family would normally preside over the ceremony.

Many years ago, the woman would be sent to the bridegroom house about thirteen days after IWANIEN OMO and gingerly hoisted either on her husband’s lap or the OKAEGBE of his family. They are done immediately nowadays in the home of the bridegroom. The bride, now known as OVBIOHA would be led by her relatives to the husband’s house with all her property meanwhile, the family and friends of the bridegroom are feasting, drinking, singing and dancing while waiting for the bride to arrive.

As the family and friends of the bridegroom await the bride (OVBIOHA), messages will arrive suggesting that there are UGHUNGHUN-barriers on the road. The bridegroom has to remove the barriers by sending money to the party, bringing the wife to him or else the wife will not arrive. As they approach the house of the bridegroom, you can hear the echo of OVBIOHA GHA MIEN ARO-ARO, meaning Bride! Be proud/ the Bride is proud. Arrival at the bridegroom’s house is immediately followed by the ceremony of IKPOBO-OVBIOHA-washing of the bride’s hands. A bowl of water with money in it would be brought out. A woman in the groom's family, sometimes his senior wife would bring out a new head tie, wash the hand of the Ovbioha in the bowl and dries her hand with the head tie. Both the new head tie and the money in the bowl belong to the bride.

A few days later, the bride would be taken to the family altar, and prayers are said for her. She undergoes what is called the IGBIKHIAVBO ceremony-beating of OKRO on the flat mortar. This would be followed by a visit by the bride’s mother-in-law and other female members of the family to the newlywed if they are not living in the same house. She would demand the bedspread on which they both slept when they had their first sexual relationship after the wedding and if the bed-spread was stained with blood, the bride was regarded as a virgin, and as such she would be given many presents including money. If it is proven that she was not a virgin, then the preparation for the ceremony of the IVIHEN-OATH TAKING ceremony would be set in motion.

First, she has to confess to the older women, the other men in her life before she got married. The husband would never be told any of her confessions, then, she would be summoned to the family shrine early in the morning, without warning to take an oath of FIDELITY, FAITHFULNESS, TRUSTWORTHINESS, HONESTY ETC, to her husband and family. This ceremony is the equivalent of the oath people take in the church, mosque, or marriage registry. Once the oath-taking ceremony is over, she would be fully accepted back into the family and immediately becomes married not only to her husband but to the family and sometimes to the community.

Christianity, Islam, and the Westernization of today have weakened the Edo traditional system of marriage. The traditional ceremony is sometimes done the same day with many of the rituals avoided in the name of Christianity or Islam and many women would rather die than take the oath we described above. It was the oath that kept Edo women out of prostitution for many years; thus making the Edo women, in general, to be regarded as very faithful, trustworthy, honest with strong fidelity to their husbands making neighboring tribes want them as wives. It also made divorce on the ground of adultery, less common in those days.

BRIDE PRICE REQUIREMENTS

1 Umbrella
1 suitcase filled with clothes (box of wrappers)
2 bottles of hot drinks (schnapps)
1 crate of malt drinks
1 plate of kolanuts
1 bag of salt
25 liters of palm oil for the bride's mother
1 carton of wine for sundry use (the groom should hold this)
3 crates of malt for women of the lineage
6 carton of beer for men of the lineage
28 tubers of yam arrange in groups of seven
14 tubers of yam for the eldest man in the lineage

TABOO

When a woman is married to an Esan man, it is an abomination for another man to touch her wrapper, else it is considered as though she has committed adultery unless the married woman shouts at the man or reports to her husband.

It is an abomination for married couples or anyone at that to have sex in the afternoon as it is believed that a certain spirit would be angered by the act.

When a woman commits adultery, she will lose her life as a repercussion for the abominable act unless she confesses and as restitution, she is stripped completely unclad, a part of her head is shaved, a part of her private part is shaved, one of her armpits is shaved and both of her hands are tied behind her, while a basket full of trash is placed on her head. She is then paraded around the community by other women.

If this is not done and the woman goes ahead to cook for her children, she will lose her life. If she also confesses to her husband and out of love or pity her husband conceals the confession, he will die within a week, if he eats a meal cooked by the woman. If she didn't confess to her husband but the man, however, discovered her infidelity and continues to eat meals cooked by the woman, he will die.

It is a taboo for another man to cross an outstretched legs of a married woman else it is considered as though she already had sex with the man.

A married woman cannot steal her husband's money in Esan land as it is seen as an abomination. She must tell him about it.

It is considered an abomination for a man to sit on the matrimonial bed of an Esan couple as it is seen as a taboo.

It is also an abomination for a woman to spit on her husband under any circumstance. If she does, she must sacrifice a fowl to appease him, but the man can bathe his wife with his own spit.

It is seen as an abomination for an Esan man to use the same bathing bucket with his wife but due to widespread Christianity, this taboo has almost gone into extinction.

The husband of a woman who just gave birth must stay away from her sexually for three months as she's considered unclean because of the after-delivery blood she discharges.